Healthy discipline

American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) states:

Disciplining your child is not easy, but it is part of good parenting. The AAP recommends a 3-step approach for effective discipline:

1. Create a positive, supporting, and loving relationship with your child. This will help your child want to show good behavior, not out of fear, but to gain your love.
2. Use positive reinforcement to increase the behavior you want from your child. Catch them being good and praise them.
3. If you feel discipline is needed, do not spank or use other physical punishments. Try a time out for young children. For older children try taking away their favorite privileges.

Talk with your child’s provider if you have questions about discipline.

The power of “time-in”

“Time-in” is a great tool to help build your bond with your child. It can also prevent behavior problems. Many undesired behaviors come from children seeking attention from caregivers in any way they can. We know that life is busy. 

“Time-in” can be spending 5 minutes of uninterrupted 1-on-1 time with your child each day. Children love this special time and attention from their caregiver. 

“Time-in” could be doing activities together like: 

• Playing 
• Coloring 
• Singing 
• Cooking
• Reading
• Dancing

Spanking

Spanking and other forms of corporal punishment are not good parenting techniques. From these, your child learns:

• To fear
• To feel angry and powerless
• That it is okay to hit when you are very angry and stronger than the other person.
• To make things right with violence

For a short time, spanking may stop the bad behavior at that moment. This does not last. Often, children will do the same behavior again because they did not learn what they did wrong.

You want:

• The behavior changes to be permanent even when you are not around
• Your child to respect and love you
• Your child to use words, not fists, when they are mad or upset

Spanking teaches the opposite.

Set a good example. When your child misbehaves:

• Calm them down by staying calm.
• Give a time out for young children: 1 minute per year of age.
• Take privileges away for a fair time for older children.
• Talk to your child calmly about why they were punished.
• When the punishment is over, invite your child to the family activity. Act as if nothing happened.
• Catch your child behaving well. Give them positive attention. If you constantly punish them, they will keep doing the bad behavior to get attention.
• Spanking is not an effective form of discipline. The line between physical abuse and spanking is very fine. Spanking is harmful to children. It may also lead to more aggressive and defiant behaviors from your child.