What is child sexual abuse?
It is when an abuser uses a child for their own sexual stimulation.
- It can happen between a child and an adult.
- The abuser can also be a child.
- It can happen with or without touching.
Who is sexually abused?
- Girls and boys can be sexually abused.
- Children of all races, ethnicities, ages, and economic backgrounds can be sexually abused.
- It happens in countries all over the world.
About 1 out of 10 Iowans have been sexually abused at some time in their life.
Types of sexual abuse with touching are:
- Touching a child’s vagina, penis, breasts, or bottom with a hand, mouth, or penis
- Putting genitals in or on a child’s body
- Asking a child to touch an adult or child’s genitals, breasts, or bottom
Types of sexual abuse without touching are:
- Voyeurism (the abuser secretly looks at a child’s naked body)
- Exhibitionism (the abuser shows their vagina, penis, anus, breasts, or bottom to a child)
- Showing pornography to a child or having sex in front of a child
How do abusers sexually abuse a child?
- Many abusers do not use physical force. They often use play, threats, and tricks to get the child to play along.
- When the child is trapped, the abuser keeps the child silent the same way. They groom the child by buying them gifts, making exciting promises, and emotional manipulation.
- Grooming confuses the child about what is right and what is wrong. The child also gets confused about their feelings toward the abuser.
Why don’t children say they are being sexually abused?
- They are afraid the abuser will threaten to hurt them or their family.
- They are afraid they will be taken away from their home if they tell.
- They feel shame and guilt about the abuse.
- They are worried that nobody will believe them if they tell.
How can I tell if a child is sexually abused?
- Children react in different ways after sexual abuse. Some ways are:
- Sexual knowledge, words, or actions not expected for the child’s age
- Nightmares or other sleeping problems
- Withdrawal (the child stops doing the things they used to enjoy)
- Angry outbursts
- Sadness for a long time
- Not wanting to be alone with a specific person who may be the abuser
- These behaviors can be seen in children who have had other types of traumas, too. Some children who were sexually abused do not show any emotional or behavioral changes.
- Ask your child’s care team any questions you have about development and behaviors.
What should I do if my child tells me they are being sexually abused or were sexually abused?
- Stay calm and listen.
- Thank your child for telling you.
- Never blame your child.
- Tell your child they are very brave.
- Tell your child you believe them.
- Tell your child you are there to support them.
Report suspected sexual abuse to the Iowa Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-362-2178.
How can I protect my child from sexual abuse?
- Teach your child the correct names of their body parts.
- Teach your child about body safety and “okay” and “not okay” touches.
- Tell your child it is okay to say no if they do not want to be touched. It is also okay to say no to touching others. It is okay to say no to any touch.
- Teach your child to bathe and use the restroom on their own as soon as they can.
- Teach your child that it is never okay for an adult or another child to tell them to keep a secret.
- Tell your child they can ask any question that worries them.
- Trust your instincts as a caregiver. Do not leave your child with a person you do not trust or know well.
Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room if your child is in danger.